Masterchef Singapore Recaps!!!

Spoiler alert/TLDR: HURH?/IDGAF/What Would Shams Have Done (WWSHD)/ Ugh Pasta/ Radioactive Ondeh Ondeh Laosai *corrected szechuan to Sichuan == Now that all the spice queens have left the show, one wonders if there is any point watching this grand finale. One rolls this question around in one's mouth, and a weird flavour spreads around the palate. By episode's end, the question really is: what would we as a nation be proud to call a feast? But let's put aside these ruminations for now, because there's some Masterchef to watch! Gen and Zander are our top 2 finalists. Here's a little capsule review of each of them for those of you joining this recap series at stupid o'clock. Gen is basically an Elevated Creative Cuisine Queen. In restaurant terms you're thinking sit-down establishment with $20 sharing plates, craft cocktails, better yet beers, light Mumford & Sons soundtrack, and swish mod-industrial touches in the decor suggesting casual upmarket, but wit...

It's dark times in the Masterchef Singapore Kitchen as all light and brightness have been evicted along with Sharon's hair, and with that my hopes and dreams of an all-female final 3. But we have to push on in spite of dark times, this is the inherent wisdom of our moment in history.  We're BACK in the now kind of spookily too-big competition hall. This calls for a brief pause to consider the ambitions and talents that once came to life in this zhenged-up home econs classroom. Let's at this point remember such characters as Diana Queen of the Home Cooks, Auntie Nicholas of the Kingdom of Pomenagrates (sic), SWTGH of the Nasi Ulam Istimewa, recently evicted; Sowmiya of the Vegetarians forced to work with sweetbreads to show the judges versatility, Joshua and Vidhya the two kickass Indian cooks who were eliminated together during the #Chineseprivilege challenge, and Aaron Wong who? (jk, Aaron Wong Prince of Tuiles).  Anyway, everyone's feeling very limber after yester...

  TLDR: SWTGH Rocks/ Fuck Empire == Okay guys, I've just had 1 hour of breathtaking angina, can we please give some credit where credit is due and congratulate Channel 5 (or rather the kickass outsourced production house) on giving us the most gripping hour of reality TV produced in Singapore since the Phua Chu Kang episode of The Amazing Race. This episode gave us everything: angina, laosai, stomach cramps, asthmatic episodes, deep crying, and one of the most ignominious anti-climaxes of the series so far. PART ONE The contestants are blindfolded and made to cha-cha out of the Masterchef kitchen like a schoolyard game of Chicken & Eagle. To add to the humiliation, they're thrown for some reason into a party bus, complete with strobe-lights and I assume Top 40s EDM. Considering what they're about to face, i.e. a trip back to 19th century colonial Singapore, down to its racialized divide-and-conquer labour policies, this is really crass and stupid, and very Mediacorp. Bl...

  [spoiler alert, but lol srsly] [TLDR: Shams rocks] First of all, fuck Toggle for making me get a VPN to watch this show. PART ONE The durian challenge was actually all kinds of genius, but when Bjorn said before the reveal that the mystery ingredient is "a toxic ingredient that splits households" there was literally no way anyone would believe a pufferfish or raw potatoes was in that smoking biohazard box. Whoever's writing his lines needs to take some notes/hire me. Takeaways From this Challenge #1: it's clear Zander can only do hipster cafe food. So far we've had 2 fusion risottos, breaded mystery meat, molten lava cake, and now innovative lasagne. So if he wins this and gets a restaurant, you all know it'll close down in a year. Let's keep things in perspective. He's cute but not that cute. say no to #hipstercafe trash. #2: When Damien interviews Sharon with the good hair at the start and exclaims "another sambal?" I wanted to scream P...